Baby's Room, Doctor's Visit and the lost mitten

SOLVED! The saga of the missing mitten is solved! Was doing the last 2 loads of baby clothes tonight and spied, inside the rubber gasket in the door (side-loading washing machine) the missing mitten. I DIDN'T lose it! The washing machine ate it - but at least it didn't digest it. My confidence had been shaken enough that I bought a pair of long-sleeved onesies with BUILT-IN MITTS! Good invention.

Here are pics of the baby's room, even MORE done, still only 95%, but close, which is good because the OB visit today revealed that I am 100% effaced and 1cm dilated. Some people walk around 3 centimeters dilated for weeks, so it doesn't automatically mean anything, but it could mean something.





What does mean more than the dilation alone, is the crampy feelings I've had for the rest of the day. I went to Walmart to exchange these horribly tiny onesies I bought Myles. By the end of the trip, I was so worn out and crampy feeling that I snagged one of those motorized carts and used it to wait in a line behind about 13 people at customer service and for checkout. Very cool. I'm not sure how much driving I'm going to be doing anyhow. It took me 2 tries to swing my leg up into my car today, once my right round ligaments started hurting.

I scheduled my next and probably last OB appt (this time around) earlier next week so that Mark can drive me. The doctor wants to induce me a little next week if I'm not already there yet with a "kiss of pitocin" as she put it. Not to send me directly into labor, but to help it along. From the way I feel today, I don't know if I'll need any help.

Sunday, I went to the movies with my friend Darcy to see Madea Goes to Jail. Cute and stupid - very enjoyable and lightweight. The steps were killing me though on the way out. Then Monday, Mark and I went out on a date that we jokingly refer to as The Last Supper (as a childless couple). I haven't been out to a restaurant in at least 4 months and it was the first time that we could. I gorged myself on Japanese Shabu Shabu, which is a sort of meat fondue. Yum.


So the out and about is really probably helping things along. We are less than 2 weeks away, folks! Woohoo!

Intensity

Today,

I woke up as usual super cheery, grateful and blissful. But for the last 2 days, that bliss only lasts about 1 hour before the day comes and washes it away. I woke up, looked around, saw the dead balloons STILL litering the floor. I historically am afraid of/agitated by the sound of balloons popping so I couldn't really do anything about it, but annoyed enough, I considered just putting on some big headphones with music and popping them myself. Mark finally noticed THAT agitation and put them out of their misery.

All of a sudden I was irked by all the stuff left undone. Dishes from the shower, balloons, empty boxes, etc. So I started the day off washing dishes and doing errands I haven't been able to do for months. Mark came into the kitchen when he awoke and asked me if I was having the infamous burst of nesting energy that's supposed to predict labor nearby. I didn't think so. I think I'm just tired of letting stuff drag on forever. The kid's coming soon, he's not going to wait until it's convenient to do laundry or clean up or build furniture. We've got to get on it. I can't put together either of the two Ikea wardrobe thingies we bought - although I DID try to put one together and fell short when it reached the two man portion.

So on to what I CAN do. I started laundry. Yesterday I started the large task of piling all the clothes I've been giving in size piles. I was horrified to find that several of the onesies I have that say newborn are made for Barbie dolls and are super small. It's looking like anything that's 5-8lbs isn't going to get worn. He's probably 8 lbs already! He was 5 lbs 14 oz at week 34 I believe and they put on 1/3 to 1/2 a pound each week and that was 3 weeks ago! So I didn't wash the tiny Gerber onesies. I'm still on the fence about which other stuff I think he'll be able to wear and what's too small likely. So I skipped washing clothes and moved on to blankets, lap pads, burp cloths, socks and mittens.

Why was I totally frightened and intimidated by laundry? So many questions. Things you take for granted that you know how to do suddenly become foreign when you have a baby. Of course, I could just be casual and unschooled and do whatever. A lot of people do. But after discovering shocking things about babies that you wouldn't know by common sense like not eating lunch meats and unpasteurized cheeses while pregnant or the fact that you can't feed a baby water until it's about 6 months old (you can drown its cell and throw off the balance of electrolytes), I realized that I don't know jack about babies.

So you can't use normal detergent and shouldn't use fabric softener. If you do use softener, it needs to be the liquid kind in the wash and not dryer sheets. Good luck finding softener that doesn't have perfume. Dreft costs a billion dollars and apparently isn't necessary, so our All-free will work fine for the baby. So one down - google research on detergent done. I washed the first load and no problem. I was partially scared of taking things out of the wrap that actually tells you what's what. How am I supposed to remember the difference between a lap pad and a burp pad? What's the difference anyhow? Aren't they all square. Okay are lap pads different than lap cloths? Aren't lap pads supposed to be for changing diapers and waterproof? If they are waterproof, how can they be washed. What the heck are these little stiff things over here? Uggh! Confident that I now would be able to identify a receiving blanket from a lap cloth, I did the load and had no problems.

Second load however, I decided to get jiggy and wash more stuff like socks, mittens and bibs. I have one word for you: VELCRO. So the velcro on the bibs decides to catch on all the terry cloth loops on the baby socks, so I pull the sodden mass out of the washer and attempt to separate them.

A new worry: if I can't keep up with ADULT socks in the washer (somebody gets orphaned every so often), they how oh how am I supposed to keep up with teeny socks that are an inch big? If I drop one, I know it's history. The dogs will find it before me and it'll be buried in the backyard. Panic sets in and then I realized the futility of worrying and just go for it. Vowing to match them immediately after drying. Vowing also to check the dryer at different intervals, assuming that those waterproofed fleece lap pads are going to dry at a different pace than the normal cloth things, and not trusting the little stiff things not to contain something that melts, despite the 'tumble dry low' marking on the label.

I did 2 whole loads of baby laundry clothes and no one was harmed-yet. Wow. I also set up the little dresser-top Diaper Depot Auntie Lolo got us, and put in the teeny newborn diapers and baby wipes on top. The sides hold stuff too, so I raided Pam's diaper cake and took the Dessitin packets and miniature baby powder and put it in, alongside the A&D ointment that Michelle sent me. Her youngest baby just had his fourth birthday party yesterday. Wow. Time flies. That's the youngest baby in my inner circle. Our generation sucks at having babies apparently. We're all sort of late on that.

OKAY UPDATE: No socks lost, but...I just folded all the laundry and I've ALREADY lost a mitten! Brand new. It didn't last ONE HOUR. I went into the washer from the original packaging, and didn't come out. I've flapped out everything, looked inside of other clothing, stuck my head inside both the washer and dryer and spun the drums and NO mitten. I'm fairly disgusted. I can't even blame the dog, it never left the laundry room!

It'll show up eventually but the baby only needs the mitten for the first couple of weeks maybe, so I hope it literally shakes out before then.

Shower's over and we're at 37 weeks.

Congratulations to us - 37 weeks! Full term baby. No more hearing the words "pre-term." This baby's done anywhere from now til when he feels like coming out. I just finished watching disc 1 of the Lamaze DVD I bought to make up for the birthing class that we probably won't make it to. If my husband's sullen, sleepy disinterest is any indication. We'd scheduled one for 34 weeks and then my doctor banned me from going, and now it's late enough that they might not have one soon enough or might be booked up.

My baby shower was fantastic. It was a bit rough preparing. I had to get the house ready, but I wasn't really supposed to be cleaning much. It worked out fine. My two friends who were planning it, and couldn't ever meet up or talk before due to scheduling conflicts, got it together the last week and had perfectly complimentary schedules on the day of. They tag teamed it and it worked out perfectly.

I got some really thoughtful, really great gifts. Board books, about 3 blankets, a footprint kit a cradle swing, a floor gym, about 15 more outfits, a carseat head support, a boppy baby pillow, a baby food book and at least 1 or 2 more fabulous things that I can't remember without getting up and walking to the nursery.

We brought the furniture back in, painted all white. We've got 2 more wardrobe things from Ikea to put together still, but the room's getting close to done. I finally took all the clothes and gifts out and comingled them (had kept the pre-shower gifts separate) and sorted them by age. I have tons of newborn stuff and almost as much 6 month old stuff. I also have a few 12 month and older outfits. Very nice. He won't be naked.

I have so many blankets and receiving blankets and lap pads. Tonight I finally got the courage to do a load of baby laundry. No Dreft for me. I'm using All-free, which we already use. It has no dye, no perfume and gets good word of mouth ratings from people. Found out today that fabric softener isn't a good idea, especially if it's dryer sheets. I was a little terrified of washing stuff because I felt like, in addition to making the wrong choices, I might not be able to remember what all the various squares are without their little tags and boxes. Would I recognize a lap pad? Would I remember which sheets go to the bassinet vs. the crib? All sorts of silly fears. I got over it (only took me all day of procrastinating) and just washed.

I also discovered that the 9 onesies I have for newborns were apparently made from baby dolls and not real children. They call it newborn, but it's really for preemies. It's for 5 to 8 lbs. Most babies would be out of those things in like 2 weeks. My baby probably weighs 8 lbs in utero already, no exaggeration. So they are going back to wherever. Not sure, but I think they sell them at Walmart - the Gerber onesies. The Carter stuff had more reasonable size estimates for newborn stuff.

I'll post some shower pics tomorrow. I'm really sleepy. And now that my inlaws are on Facebook (yes, roll please) I don't have to rush to post stuff here for my MIL to see - she can just check Facebook.

I'm not really having many signs of labor yet. I might be having Braxton Hicks, but they are really subtle and not painful. The baby hasn't dropped yet, or not entirely. He's still living under my right ribs. I'm getting these not-so-cute side stitches and plucking of some groin nerves like Sciatica, but worse. But none of the really strong symptoms like I had before at 28 weeks. This baby may surprise us all and be a full 40 weeks.

But I sort of doubt it. It's easy to stay in when I'm on my back all day, but now that I'm up and about, I start feeling it if I stand more than about 10 minutes. I kept hopping around at the shower, but I really paid for it a couple of times. And I refuse to keep sitting down because 1) I've got to finish his room and 2) I'd like to strengthen myself for labor - I hope everything hasn't atrophied after two months sitting on my booty. I'll need a little more endurance than that.

So without me artificially keeping him in, I don't know how long he'll stay. I didn't want to ruin the baby shower, so I took it easy last week, but this week I want to go to the movies, go out for dinner, finish the baby's room, buy the last things that we need that no one else got us, return stuff, etc. We should start a little betting pool. My bet is that he'll last til about 38 weeks and then come a little bit early. I also predict that I won't feel the initial contractions until he's right upon me.

I'm so thrilled we made it this far! We'll soon see, right?

Baby Shower Madness

Baby shower is tomorrow. The planning is almost done. Good! It's been stressful and I'm not even the planner! This is the end of the 36 weeks. Yippee! I'm REALLY in home stretch now. Baby births from 37-40 are considered FULL TERM! Woohoo. 40 to 42 weeks is considered post term. Post term? Who the heck wants a late baby? If I was 42 weeks pregnant, I'd be jumping around and eating all sorts of stuff in an attempt to jumpstart labor. Although I'm now on modified bedrest, I still haven't had any fun because between doing things for the baby shower and trying not to go into labor BEFORE the shower, I haven't had much leeway. Next week, I'm going to go to the movies, and maybe have a dinner out with Mark (since we won't need a babysitter). Gotta get some date nights in there - these are our last days as married bachelors.


Mark's been busy painting some old furniture for the baby's room. The family left behind some old brown wood pieces that he's painted white. We got a couple things from Ikea earlier in the week, so we might be finished with baby room purchases. We skipped the showroom, as I always do, and went directly to the warehouse part of Ikea and still it took us about 30+ minutes trying to find what we needed, that I'd already seen online, but had a tough time finding. Afterwards, just standing that long gave me cramps for the duration of the night. First sign that off of bedrest doesn't mean much anymore. Now that I've been set free, nature's hemming me up anyhow. There are natural limits to how much I can do since I'm so much less flexible and energetic.

I tried to dust the other day and accidentally sprayed a little pledge on our wood floor and later, BLAMMO! I fell so quickly that I didn't notice I was falling, I only knew that I had already fallen once I looked up at the room as I sat on my left buttock, dazed. It pissed me off, scared me a little and definitely hurt my pride. I haven't fallen like that since I was a little kid. But I read online that falling at this point of pregnancy is super common because your center of balance is off and the pledge didn't help. I had to Murphy's Oil Soap the floor to get it back to being tacky enough to walk on with socks. But I still look at the wooden step-up landing with a bit of contempt every time I walk that way. LOL.

The baby shower is sort of a housewarming of sorts because it's the first time most people will have seen our new digs. So it's been more stressful because we're trying to get everything all perfect. My definition of perfect, however, is fading fast. I'm learning to lower my standards, which I hear is a good thing in preparation for motherhood. I mopped a floor yesterday and ended with 'good enough'. I wasn't about to get on my knees and scrub corners - whatever the swifter got, it got. Mark does tons of stuff around the house, but it's just too much for one person so now that I am allowed to move, I sneak and do housework when he's away at work. I got in trouble about the pledge and dusting, though. "Why were you dusting? What were you dusting?" I pointed to the plantation blinds and he said, "what wrong with them?" And I silently replied, "that why it was I who was dusting! " He didn't even see the dirt that was caked on. The lady before was nice, but nobody's housekeeper. I'm not big on it either, but there are just things I can't ignore and she was a little better at ignoring stuff. Like the 1950s kitchen and bathroom that has never been updated. This house is like a jiggier, smaller version of my parents' (now my mom's) house back in Missouri. It's cute, but nobody bothered to update the obvious. The addition is all cute because it was built later, but the rest of the stuff is pretty much standard issue original. No ventilation in the kitchen and not a screen window to be found in the front half of the house. When I cook, it smells like a chinese restaurant for the next 2 hours. We're working on that with the management company.

My knitting has goten pretty good. I can knit and perl and I'm making a scarf while waiting for the special velour yarn for the baby's blanket to come. I ran out of it and forgot it's only available online. Here's my latest scarf:



I've figured out that stockinette stitch rolls up, so I put a border or garter around the edges of the scarf to make it lie flat.

That's it. Hopefully I'll be back with pictures from the shower. Happy weekend.

35 weeks and counting...

Sorry I've been too bored to blog. The novelty of being a walking biology project is wearing thin. I've ramped up my efforts to stay engaged with the world at large these last couple of weeks. I've learned to purl in addition to the normal knit stitch, so I've started knitting a scarf in stockinette stitch with a garter stitch border to keep it from rolling up around the edges. If this is greek to you, ignore it. It's boring knitter talk and to think that I was a non-knitter 2 or 3 months ago.

In other useless skills, I've learned all 53/54 African country names and locations. The number fluctuates according to who consider which islands as countries and Western Sahara, the country next to Morocco, is disputed as being a country. By whom, I don't know, but it's usually listed as being anywhere from 52 to 54 countries.

I'd learned them before as a child, but then the country names changed. And I learned it again freshmen year at Howard as part of induction processes for our freshmen year mini-sorority and again the names changed. Zaire no longer exists - it's the Democratic Republic of Congo(Kinshasa), as opposed to the plain ol' Republic of Congo (Brazzaville). Rhodesia is really old school - hasn't existed in awhile. The islands considered countries are generally Sao Tome and Principe, Seychelles, Madagascar, Mauritius and Cape Verde.

I've now undertaken the US States, since I've rocked Africa so well and the only states that throw me are all the teeny NE ones. I've started on Europe, but I've got to admit that I lose interest when I get too deep into the Eastern European former USSR stuff. There are SO many small countries that it's just overwhelming a little bit. I'm good with the nice big ones, but there are so many small ones that don't make the news often. Of course, I know all the countries whose food I like - anything close to Greece or Turkey is yummy! The best part of LA cuisine to me is the Turkish/Greek/Armenian stuff. What they do with chicken and garlic sauce is amazing! Not a big fan of Mexican yet, although I've had some truckstand tacos that make you want to smack your mama.

I'm reading all the child-rearing baby books again now that it's getting closer. I find them mostly boring after about 20 minutes, but there's good info in them. I'm also packing my hospital bag - well, collecting stuff in a corner of the nursery. Making wall art stuff for the baby's room. Found some baby pictures of me (not too many exist, but luckily these 3 from a professional photog have come in handy) to play with in Photoshop. Here's some of my handiwork:

got changed to this:

and this:

from this:

and this:

gave me this:

Bottom line is I'm trying to be useful in a very un-useful state. I've had at least one day a week for the last week where something random made me want to cry. Today I looked up something in the yellow pages for Burbank and got all misty realizing that we don't live there anymore. Pictures of peoples' kids and other things just make me all borderline emotional. I say borderline because I have some type of emotional crossing guard who observes dispassionately and stops the teary traffic from making its way through, but I at least see it across the intersection, threatening to run as soon as the light turns green. My great aunt has a convention and can't come to my baby shower, and this nearly sent me into depression yesterday. All my crazy out of town friends and sister were trying to come which I think is overkill and not that necessary didn't upset me, but my in-town great aunt and her best friend's absence made me all sad.

I bore myself because I'm starting to get complain-y. I don't like that. I don't complain for long. If something bugs me, I change it. If it's unchangeable and necessary I accept it. I think the 3rd trimester is a serious test of patience. I've adjusted to a lot of things, but now that I'm gaining about a pound a week, things change too quickly to adjust. When I think I've learned how to sleep comfortably, the baby learns a new trick. When I think that I've escaped stretch marks or waddling, it creeps up on me. I think the low quality of sleep I'm getting is also making me crotchety, and I can't really unload on anyone because I'm bored with the words coming out of my mouth. Same old tune again? My back hurts, my stomach hurts, hemorrhoids aren't your friend, I can't eat much, I can't breathe, yaddah yaddah yaddah. It's so unoriginal. Every mother has gone through this, so it' not some unique experience.

But I want my cake and to eat it too. I want the baby to stay in - the longer the better. It gives me time to finish his room once I'm off of bedrest, it is also easier to care for him on the inside that in the world, so I'm not rushing him by any means. I still get my last chance to have a dinner out with Mark, I get a chance to see a movie or two before he's born, so I definitely want this to last to term.

Yet, I'm getting a little tired of feeling CONTINUOUSLY like I'm a balloon waiting to pop. It used to last a day or two maximum, but now that he's growing at leaps and bounds, I've been stretched feeling for at least 4 or 5 days in a row, with no signs of slow-down or relief! Maybe the weekend will be better.

Did I tell you that my inlaws have a webcam and are getting jiggy with technology? My MIL sent me some GREAT pictures of Mark as a baby. That made my day - trying to figure out what our kid is going to look like. My sister also bought a webcam, but we haven't had time to try it out yet. I swear I look forward to the most mundane stuff now...

Happy Valentine's Day

We had a pretty good Valentine's Day despite me not being able to leave the house. Had our first local chinese for dinner. I wasn't super impressed by the food, but the value was excellent and the egg drop soup was great. Mark got me India Arie's new cd - I wanted the actual physical cd for this one - and some really cute flowers. I hadn't expected much, so it was all a pleasant surprise.

I felt a little stomach-achy all day, so I was a bit sluggish and laid back a bit. I'd contemplated us sneaking out to a movie at a strategically picked theatre without much traffic or stairs, but after waking up feeling so-so, I just kept with the program.

Today's Sunday. I've gained 30-35 pounds so far. Only slightly jiggly thighs to show for it - the bulk of it is in the belly, where it should be. I had to go to the bathroom about 6 times last night which is at least 2 more than usual and had a sore stomach all night and into the morning. The last time I had a stomach ache, it was when my cervix shrunk at Xmas, so I'm watching it. However, it shrunk over the course of 5 or 6 days. I'm already only 3 days away from 35 weeks. And even if my cervix goes to 0 in length, that doesn't guarantee that it'll start to dilate. So we can probably make it to 36 weeks with no problems. After that, it's all fair game.

It's hard to tell because I seem to not be able to differentiate Braxton-Hicks from just stomach pain. My tolerance for pain is such that I don't get contractions that feel like contractions, it's just some generic discomfort that I can't pinpoint. But the boy is unfazed. He's moving and rolling around in there as per normal.

As long as I am normal in the steps of going into labor, I haven't experienced the normal signs that labor's coming, including:

• weight stabilization - once your weight stops changing, you're w/in 2 weeks of delivery
• baby dropping - when the baby drops further into the birth canal, he moves less because he is solidly wedged into one place
• lightening - baby moves out from the ribs and makes you feel lighter

So far, I'm just achy and heavy today. I'm feeling better this evening than I was this morning, so maybe it's passed, whatever it is. It's just hard to brand something normal when the norm shifts every 2 to 3 days. I'm gaining at least a pound a week now, so I haven't gotten used to the quick and constant stretching of my belly to accomodate it.

Mark has started sanding down the old dresser so that we can paint it white. Okay, so that HE can paint it white. I can't do any of it - I'm still in denial about not being able to participate. But as the days grow closer and we realize that we're realistically going to have a baby in about a month, we're catching up with our decorating tasks.

I promise new pictures soon. It's just hard to find pants to wear so that I can get a rated-PG belly shot.

34 weeks and counting

I hit 34 weeks yesterday! Woohoo. Major landmark. Next pitstop 36 weeks.

Had an appointment today with a perinatologist to get some more in depth ultrasounds done and the news was all super positive. The doctor thought that my fibroid position still leaves me with a good chance to have a normal vaginal birth. It hasn't grown in awhile - it's 11cm by 12cm and on the top outside of the left side of my uterus. I think they call it subserosal. The baby's head is already lower than the fibroid, so it wouldn't block his exit at the least.

The baby is about 5lbs 14oz already! Woohoo! Big baby. The doctor kept remarking on how big his head was. They couldn't even measure my cervix because his head was so big it wouldn't get out of the way. She then asked about Mark and I said that yes indeed, he has a nice big square head and was a big baby, as was Auntie Lolo. Then she asked me if I was a big baby and I said no, I was 4lbs 11oz and a preemie. She asked why I was a preemie and I said, "I have no idea." After artfully dodging questions about my mom, saying that she wasn't good with details, she told me that his upper arm measurement was long, like mine and that that hints that he'll be tall. More questions about Mark - yes Mark is 6 feet and has uncles that are even taller.

So little Myles is tall, a big baby who is growing quite well despite the fibroid, and in position. I felt SO relieved about him not being some tiny little wormy preemie. She basically said that at about 36 weeks I should go ahead and try to live a normal life for the duration of the pregnancy. My main doctor hinted at this too, so when I see her next week, she might release me from bedrest at 36 weeks. Wow! You mean I could go to church, get my ends trimmed, maybe even go to Lamaze class? What a luxury. I told the lady today that I'm so hard up for outings that I look forward to the doctor visits because I get to drive and leave the house.

Myles is a-coming and it's going well. I think I can sit still for two weeks easy - I've been doing it for so long, what's another two weeks. My friend hadn't told my beautician that I was on bedrest (and I didn't since I never had to call for an appointment I wouldn't be allowed to go to), so she didn't know that I was and thought that I was just being a bad girl since I never went by to show her my belly. I told her I'd LOVE to show her my belly if I could actually leave the house and get my ragged ends trimmed. I've been cutting my hair continually, one hair at a time for the last 5 weeks or so. The thought that I could go and let somebody else cut my hair, do my eyebrows, etc is just the best.

I'm in the home stretch now - it's less than 6 weeks away for a full-term baby, and he's looking more and more like he could make it. If he did the whole 40 lbs, he could weigh as much as 9 lbs. Maybe the fibroid isn't the biggest decider of a C-section here, huh?

Happy Birthday I had indeed

Had a great birthday. A couple of friends came over (their pics didn't turn out too great, so I can't post them for fear of getting cursed out.) Mark got me a cake, but forgot to bring it out until after the guests left! My friend Darcy brought me fried fish and chips for a snack since I can't go anyplace and there's this horrible little fish place near her new pad. Me and Mark tried it when we came back from London craving fish and chips and it was sufficiently hideous, but there aren't any Long John Silver's out here, so that's it for choices. And I'm fish-frying ignorant. Wouldn't know how to fry a fish to save my life. Now that I think about it, I don't know how to fry anything, do I? It hit the spot though, I'm just so happy to have some variety up in this joint. Below are some pictures of the action:

Here I am, 31+ weeks pregnant on my birthday. That's a lot of belly, huh?

Me and my girl Minnie on the sofa. She's reluctant to participate as usual (thus the loving semi-chokehold).

We finally have enough built in shelf space in the house to buy DVDs again - the DVD embargo has ended!

A knitting video to help me out...

A serenity fountain - Lord knows I need it.

Not birthday related, but here's my new favorite yarn. Makes a newbie able to make something cute with ease and quickly.

Here's my progress after the 1st day.

32 weeks = 8 months. Pregnant math...

I am 32 weeks now. That's 8 months. But the ticker below shows you that I have 8 weeks left. Why does that sound wrong? Because you're actually pregnant 10 months vs. the 9 months we speak of. 40 weeks vs. 36 expected. It's a bizarre system of counting. Firstly, you count the 2 weeks between your last period and conception where you aren't really even pregnant yet. Then I guess they tag another 2 weeks on at the end. So you're probably truly pregnant for a full 38 weeks. More useless trivia...

The View From Here

This is my daily view most of the time:

Latest Doctor's visit

Routine doctor's visit was uneventful. From here on out I think it's mostly pee in a cup, let me take your blood pressure and check the baby's heart rate, bye. Being of a consumer mindset, I sort of expected and wanted the doctor to check my cervix again to see if it was the same length. However, my doctor being intelligent, as well as conservative, said it was not a great idea to routinely go poking around, possibly upsetting the cervix now that we know that it has a tendency to randomly shorten.

Unless I have a symptom that justiies it, she leaves it alone. Very sensible. Part of me would rather have some egghead perinatologist take a computerized measurement that tells me the exact size, tells me I can move around and then acts all surprised if something goes wrong.

It's better to be conservative, honor the fact that it IS unpredictable, and I should just sit my booty still for another 3 weeks. I DID call the doctor on her initial statement that she'd be grateful and thrilled if the baby could stay in for 32 weeks. She said that at the beginning of my pregnancy. Now I'm on bedrest 'til week 34. But I called her on it, in jest. I've been doing the same thinking as well. As we hit one goal, I mentally ratchet up the expectations for the next higher goal. Every single day counts. Every day that the baby is inside this nice, cushy joint that I'm hosting him in is a day that he's stronger and less likely to have to spend any time in an incubator.

So when I was at 28 weeks, 30 was the goal. Now that I'm at 31, 34 is the goal and when I reach 34, 36 or 37 will be the goal and after that we'll just say, "hey are you done yet? Come on out." Anytime after 36 is pretty much the same as 40 weeks, I think it's just mostly body weight at that point - all the developmental stages will have been met. What about those poor women who deliver at 42 weeks? I can't fathom the idea of a late baby? Just as I think coming out to soon can be not great for a child, I think hanging around in some stale joint for too long isn't good for them either. It's like that book, "Who Moved My Cheese." After 40 weeks, your cheese is getting stale and you need to move on.

I don't get kicks, I get lots of martial arts foot sweeps to the belly. His little feet skate along the underside of my belly like a dolphin or shark fin making ripples under the water before coming up.

I speak of this because it's misleading to first time mothers and those who haven't seen pregnancy first hand. People mispeak and say the baby's kicking and you think poof a one-off kick. That happens sometimes, but more ofte it's like watching one of those portable massage things for your chair at home, where you see the little shiatsu balls making circles beneath the skin of the seat cushion.

I find that it's harder for me to watch sci-fi shows now because it sort of makes me apprehensive seeing random things bursting from people's bodies. I was watching Fringe tonight and this parasite crawled out this guys mouth and I just thought, no more science fiction 'til my baby's born. I'm as sci-fi as it needs to get. Mark has found himself a little more sensitive to horror movie themes as well. He watched The Unborn and commented on how it was creepy. I think pregnancy causes all of us to lose a bit of objectivity.

Upcoming birthday

Mark just reminded me that my birthday's coming up on Sunday. I'd forgotten. The only birthday I've been concerned with is my baby's. We didn't do much on Mark's birthday other than leave the hospital, and I can't imagine what we can do for mine at our house. I guess maybe we can get some restaurant food in, but I don't even know what's around here. In Burbank we had about every single restaurant at our fingertips. And we're a hop, skip and a jump away from Sherman Oaks and Studio City, but I didn't have enough time driving around the neighborhood (before I got grounded) to know what's what.

It'd be so cool to go have some japanese shabu shabu at Koji's at Hollywood and Highland, but I'm probably on bedrest indefinitely. We'll find out tomorrow when the doctor gives her recommendation. I have another checkup. It's been 3 weeks, I've been a good girl, Myles has been a good boy and we have yet to see if my cervix has held steady.

I was at 1.5 cm when I was hospitalized and I just saw in a forum where a lady was 1.5cm at 31 weeks and held that way until 34 weeks and delivered at almost 36 weeks and got to take her baby home right away, no NICU time. Woohoo! That's what I'm talking about. I want to be able to stroll out of the hospital fairly immediately.

I already have to leave the house on Saturday for our birthing class, so I might have used up any leaving-the-house slack between the doctor's visit and that, so I'm not holding my breath about Sunday. We are going to an all-day birthing/childcare class at our hospital that they squeezed me into when we found out that he might sneak up on us sooner than later.

Monday I was as full as a tick. Stomach so tight, I felt like I was going to pop. When the baby grows, it's pretty immediately noticeable. There was some type of spurt that happened Sunday-Monday and I was uncomfy until yesterday when my skin gave a little. It's a cycle of stretch, relax, stretch, relax. It's been awhile since I've felt it - since he went lower, I've been fairly flexible and have ribcage room. I can still reach the ground - I might grunt a little doing it, but I can touch my feet. But it's really entering the time where he's supposed to mostly just be putting on weight. And it's pretty apparent. I've been starting to get hungry in between lunch and dinner a lot more, and I've been eating a little more sweet stuff than before, so I guess it's all according to schedule. Last time we checked, he was about 3 lbs, but I'm not seeing the perinatologist anytime soon and he's the only who can give me a weight. I think a book I read said that I might put on nearly a pound a week here on out - I don't know, that sounds iffy. But he's supposed to put on a third of a pound to a half a pound a week until the end, so maybe so.



I got a care package today from my friend Michelle and her family, all decorated by her two little boys. One of them wrote, "I love u Patryce's baby." It was so cute. I'll put a picture up in this post later when I get back to the other computer w/the card reader.



She sent me lots of stuff that the boys had grown out of and a pack of new onesies and baby hats as well, a few books, some changing pads, some homemade knit towels and a blankie, and a musical cradle hanging thingie. It was so sweet and heartfelt. Her kids are amazing anyhow. When I call, I often talk to them and they know who I am even though I only get to St. Louis about once every 3 years. She does such a good job with them - they have manners at such a young age. I guess I'm lucky that my only high school friend to have kids has boys!



When I first found out that I was having a boy first, I felt like somebody was teaching me to swim by knocking me in the water. I mean, what do I know about raising a boy - that's what I thought. But now that it's becoming a reality, I'm not that nervous. I don't think it's scarier being a boy or a girl, I think it's scary that it's a child period! But I'm getting so excited about meeting him and being able to hold him in my arms as opposed to just getting kicked in the stomach for 40 minutes per hour.

And I can't wait for my dogs to meet him. Minnie seemed to like my friend Jude's youngest daughter Makensie last weekend. Max likes big kids, but I'm not sure about him and little babies. They don't throw balls or anything. It might be an adjustment for him. He's the original baby and thinks that all cooing noises and all fuzzy toys are clearly meant for him. That's why we got Minnie 3 years back - to break Max in with the concept of sharing. After Buster died, he really started to get super entitled and pushy and I knew that with kids coming eventually, he'd need to know how to share again.
Today when I took a toy out of Michelle's care package, he immediately started jumping for it, thinking he got a new toy. It's going to be interesting trying to keep baby socks and toys out of Minnie's cage and Max's mouth.

Okay, in other world news, I watched the Obama stuff today and it was just ravishing. We have a black president, a truly black first lady (he didn't try to scrape by with one of those technically black chicks) and two dazzling kids. And the crowd was just SO happy. The crowd was twice the size of anything I've ever seen in person (Michel Polnareff's concert in Paris was 1 million folks - the size of the crowd up until reflecting pool #1). And reports from my sister, who was there with my niece just confirmed what I thought: people were thrilled out of their wits to have this president. She stood in front of a group of really spirited white 'kids' which in her progressing age means 20 year olds (don't worry Pam, I'm getting up there too). And she said that their comments were hilarious. People were booing Bush, of course and they just cheered anytime they saw anything exciting on the Jumbotron. Everyone I spoke with or Facebook'd or whatever was just afire about change in the air. It's been a very good day.

Random pics

Me at 29 weeks

My typical daily view from the sofa

Good fruit on the lemon tree

Tiny lemons on my baby lemon tree that I bought
3 days before finding out I was pregnant

First attempt at knitting project w/$13 yarn
before I switched to something reasonable after
Tige brought me some normal yarn to practice with

Typical lunch from Mark (good job, sweetness)
- panini from the George Foreman and some fresh fruit

Dresser left behind that I've since decided to keep
if we paint it white

Mark gets a brief respite from being Mr. Mom and
goes to the movies with our friend Dan

Boring! Week 30

I actually watched Regis and Kelly this morning. In entirety.

How bored am I? This is turning me into a middle American. I'm starting to watch a lot of tv - which I didn't really do before. Now it's the Food Network, HGTV, DIY, Style, Discovery,TLC and Fine Living Network. By the end of bedrest, I'll know how to build a house, decorate it and throw a housewarming dinner party, all by myself.

First week of bedrest wasn't that bad at all, but now we're entering week two and it's getting a little monotonous. Mark's doing a great job though. He's been feeding me like a champ. I might even trust him to watch the kid all by himself sometime! LOL. Just kidding. He's good wth the dogs, so I already trust him, just not for time periods longer than a week, or two.

I finished two books yesterday. Mark called me a freak. He'd just come back from the library with a book they had on hold for me and brought back 2 extras. By the end of the night, 1 of those 3 was done. Luckily, friends and family have been sending me tons of books. Mark's parents and sister gave me a load for Xmas, Charis sent me a couple for no reason at all recently, and Shauna brought over 3 when she came over as my first official bedrest visitor. So I have a stash for when Mark can't make it to the library or won't. I'm saving most of those for emergency books or later on. Most of the library ones I have now are ones I actually physically picked before I got put in home detention and after I finish those, I'm not sure how keen Mark's going to be on driving back to the library, so that's when I'll break the new ones in.

I'd accused Minnie of stealing my green sock, but it turns out it was in the sheets at the bottom of my bed. As soon as I'd absolved her, I caught her walking out of my room, red-snouted with a black sock in her mouth. She immediately dropped it as soon as she saw me and exiled herself off the her crate. Too funny.

Found out that I have a few stretch marks on my underbelly today and literally almost cried. It was the surprise factor. Imagine finding out that a family of boars secretly lived in your backyard, even though you've walked the perimeter diligently every night. I've been checking my belly for stretch marks since day one but apparently there's a whole shelf underneath with lichen and moss and whatever else that I didn't know existed. I whimpered/fake cried on the phone with a friend when I found it until I found the cocoa butter stuff my mother-in-law sent me for Xmas, and started to vigorously rub it in, distracting me from my whimpering.

My friend asked if I was crying for real and I told her no, but I fake sobbed enough times that a real tear started to well up in my right eye. Then I thought about how I still have another child to go and I should really let go of any expectations about my body now. What's a stretch mark or 8 this pregnancy if there's a whole other pregnancy awaiting me in the future? That was somehow strangely comforting - realizing how little control I have now. Accept the chaos. It will set you free.

Ironically enough, I was just thinking last night about how unscathed I've come through this pregnancy. No swollen ankles or face or too much weight gain. Just acne scars, and now a couple of stretch marks. Could be much worse. But thanks universe for punishing my gratitude. LOL.

I keep thinking it's a great time to learn a foreign language or write a novel, but it's funny how sluggish behavior with little stimulation leads to a very dull brain. If I didn't write this blog, I think my language skills would deteriorate. I'd start confusing their and there and start making up words like relator instead of realtor. Okay, maybe not. But did I ever tell you about the time I temped for a commercial construction company? I worked there for like 3 weeks straight on an assignment that was supposed to just be a few days and when I started to see SO many misspellings that they started to look right I knew it was time to request another assignment. I mean, the main reason I can spell pretty darn well is that I read a lot and usually anything you see in type is correct - unless it's email. But these guys were all construction guys retired to a desk and they couldn't spell for anything. It was amazing!

I'm sort of a stickler for language skills. You could be Albert Einstein, but if you can't spell, I wouldn't date you. That's sort of how Mark wooed me. WARNING: geek alert. Mark and I met on the internet, as you may know, but it was his wit and great writing skills that won me over. His emails were so funny and well written that I somehow didn't notice that he lived in Virginia and was 2 years younger than me, infractions that had won lesser men the DELETE button. By the time I got my head on straight, it was too late, I had to meet him.

Okay, I'm boring myself talking about being bored. On to the happier...

I'm 30 weeks pregnant on Tuesday! Wooohoo! Another landmark week. Now we're going to aim for 32, which has been my doctor's goal all along. I thought she was being pessimistic, so I was aiming for 34 to 36, but now that I've got 1.5cm of cervix left, 32 weeks doesn't sound so horrid after all. Let's just keep our fingers crossed and keep on counting the days away. A baby is technically viable and done enough at 34 weeks. 40 is full term, but if you go into labor any time after week 34, they won't even stop you if you go into labor. So glory be. I'm in the 30's now, it's the home stretch, baby.

(Safari Tiddliwinks stuff that Charis got me awhile back before Xmas)

More baby stuff arrived today from my previous order. A hamper and my dual breast pump came today. Oh goody! I get to be a cow soon. Just joking. Breastfeeding is very good for the kid, so I'm quite willing to do it - no hesitation. Also, my friend Darcy stopped by over the weekend with some newborn clothes. She heard me freaking out last week about how my baby was going to come into the world butt naked and stay that way since I didn't have any clothes for him yet - not newborn clothes. And with the scare of him coming early, I'd flipped for a day or two, feeling unprepared. So she brought me a bunch of really cute outfit and newborn socks, which I'd been totally unable to find on the internet. Everything was for 6 months and older and I was getting vexed, although I don't know if he'll need socks much or not. Our LA weather is so unpredictable this year. Yesterday as 70+ degrees and today was 80. So maybe, maybe not. Plus somebody just told me that it's impossible to keep socks on a baby anyhow. I didn't know this, but he'll have some nonetheless. Now, a way to figure out how to keep Minnie from nabbing his little socks and burying them someplace...

20/20 is now officially trash tv

I just watched the stupidest episode of 20/20 ever. I've watched over the last couple of years, how reality tv has eroded the standards of television. How Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood went from interesting celebrity news, to tabloidism or pandering. Then TMZ came about and just upped the level of trashiness to the point where I can't stomach any of them.

But at least traditional news magazines were safe. Until now. They've been getting more and more sensationalistic, but the episode I watched tonight had these childbirth-related themes:

• women who experience orgasms during childbirth
• people who buy $1400 fake babies (Reborns) and carry them around in public like they are children
• women who breastfeed until their children are 6 to 8 years old and
  
• surrogates who've given birth to 8+ children.

Is this news? Women experiencing orgasms during birth? I'm pretty sure there is euphoric pleasure experienced by people dying, like if you're sky-diving and you're parachute fails, but are we advocating that, or saying that it's an common experience worth talking about? Why is this newsworthy?

And the freak ladies who were breastfeeding 6 year old who call their mom's boobs 'nummies'? Do we need to see this? It's watching somebody screw up their kid with pride. Why not just watch an episode with someone beating their child with a belt. It's as equally educational and appropriate. I'll pass. Am I gettting old and stodgy, or have people lost their minds?

Mark ended up fast-forwarding through about half of the episode. Particularly enjoyable was the surrogate who used her own eggs with clients' sperm and screwed up once and gave the couple a kid that was biologically hers and her boyfriend's! She offered to take the baby back, but otherwise didn't or wouldn't give a refund.

Doctor's visit...and Walmart

Follow up doctor's visit:

Doctor's visit went well. Doctor was thrilled that my cervix stayed steady and didn't shrink any more than since she last saw me. She was happy with it and told me to go back to bedrest and she'll see me again in 2 weeks. That sounds reassuring to think that he'll be in there for at least 2 more weeks. She let me go to the knitting store to get some needles and yarn on the way home. Unfortunately, I only bought really GOOD yarn and I'm not a good knitter yet (had a crash lesson at the store and sort of remember learning in high school somehow,) so I'm sort of nerve-wracked working through this skein. I got nubbly, expensive yarn, so it's not easy to undo it when you screw up, which I'm still doing! My friend Michelle's going to send me some normal yarn in the box she's sending me so that I can practice first. She's sending me some old baby clothes from her two little boys. They are mature and old enough that one of them volunteered their favorite stuffed animal to go to the "new baby." How cute!

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Walmart.com - from hate to love

I've always had a love hate relationship with discount stores. I like inexpensive, but I hate cheap. Sometimes the merchandise is good stuff that's expensive, but the experience can be cheap.

Ross is usually a turn off for me except for housewares and occasionally luggage or purses. If I go, I dash in directly to the department I'm looking for an dash out as if I'll catch some type of disease from seeing too much fallen merchandise scattered disorganized on the floor. TJ Maxx and Marsalls are similar. I usually only buy clothes from those places if there is something snazzy on an end-cap that I notice on the way to housewares to gaze at Le Creuset cookware that I never seem leave the store with. Even with an extreme discount, I've never felt like my cooking entitled me to top of the line cookware. Maybe now that I'm a mommy, I'll eventually step it up. All the watching of the Food Network is making me want a stand-alone mixer for the first time ever.

Syms is hideous, with ceilings painted black. I used to wonder why I always thought it was raining while I was in the store until I noticed the ceiling and asked an employee about it. Some study told them that people shop more when they feel the apocalypse upon them. Doesn't work for me - I realize that I'm artificially being given seasonal affective disorder and run the heck out of there.

Loehmann's is great. I could almost live there, especially now that there are individual dressing rooms in addition to the naked, mirrored group corral they've always had. All locations aren't all equal, but we have a great smaller one in Burbank and a crowded, but ritzy one near the Beverly Center in LA.

Big Lots (which I hadn't heard of before moving here) is just welfare annoying. I feel like I need a bath after leaving there and I've only been twice. Kmart's recovering well from being gross in the 80's (thank you Martha Stewart), but Target is simply divine. For me, it's the Loehmann's of discount department stores. Costco is okay, but I historically haven't haven't had space for 64 rolls of toilet paper. With a garage, maybe now I'd go, but that'll have to wait until the little bunting is here.

It's a clear cut case of love or hate with most stores, but Walmart, dear Walmart has caused strong mixed emotions in me. I love the low, weird prices ending in $.77, but hate the block lettering of the store fonts, the harsh lighting, the long lines and brushing up against all the unwashed masses. I think it's more snobbery and OCD than agoraphobia. I hate disorderly stores with piles of crap everywhere.

And if you live in an expensive city, Walmarts are far out on the outskirts. So I never got in the habit. Even in St. Louis, we lived in the first layer of 'burbs, so there wasn't one anywhere nearby - they were always located in the the Stepford suburbs. You know the sterile 'burbs with no mature trees, where you couldn't come home drunk and successfully distinguish your house from your neighbors'.

In DC, Walmarts were on in Maryland or Virginia suburbs. In Los Angeles, there is a really nice one in the city near the Magic Johnson theatres, but I don' t live near there. Pretty much, Walmart is destination shopping - you have to aim to go there, it's never on the way to anywhere for me, until now. Our new house is just south of little Mexico, as I like to call Panorama City, and we have a close Walmart. But if you think I hated the unwashed masses in the midwest, imagine when you don't even speak the same language. We shopped at this particular Walmart our first week in LA when we had to buy a printer before the rest of our stuff arrived from DC and Mark's words were, "we will never come here again."

It's moot for me since I'm housebound, but I made purchases on Sunday and Monday for emergency baby provisions and some of them were from Walmart.com. The mattress crib at Target was out of stock and wouldn't arrive til February, so I went to Walmart.com and saw that they had $.97 shipping on several models, including the Serta I ended up getting. Imagine my surprise when I came home Tuesday from the doctor's office to find it in the living room already! 2 day delivery for .97? And today, the baby bassinet I ordered was here as well. The Target stuff is still pokily on its way, not getting here until somewhere between Saturday and next Saturday.

I feel SO much more at peace knowing that I have a couple of things for the baby. And I also scheduled the one day intensive birthing class for me and Mark as well, so I'm not just swaying out there in the wind anymore. And I have a feeling that the bedrest is going to get less conservative as time wears on. Initially I'm on complete lockdown because the baby's so young, but as we get to later weeks, I have a feeling that I'll be allowed at least once a week outings to places other than the doctor's office.

Our property management company futzed around, waiting to fumigate for ants until I'm on bedrest and now I'm stuck trying to figure out where to go with the dogs for four hours. We've got to vacate the premises, yet I can't go anyplace really, and especially not places where I'll need to walk or yank dogs, so I've got to be create and figure out what we're going to do. I want to get rid of ants, but I also don't want to do anything risky, nor am I thrilled about breathing the after effects of the pesticides. Maybe I'll come up with an idea in my sleep...

My lonely green fuzzy sock

Minnie has struck again.

She stole one of my slipper socks. Now, I only have one green fuzzy sock. It was dark when Mark got home, but he searched both dog crates and the outdoors and we've yet to find it.

What he did find, however, when he shined the flashlight in a corner on the side of the house, was a pair of glowing eyes. He said that the fattest Siamese cat was just sitting contentedly in a hidden corner of our yard and wasn't disturbed by Mark coming up on him. This supports my hypothesis that cats aren't very smart. Why would you come into a yard where there are dogs? Luckily, the dogs haven't found her yet, but if they do, we'll hear a loud ruckus emanating from the yard.

I guess I can rule out the cat roost as a possible spot for Minnie to hide her stolen booty. Before I was confined to bedrest, I'd started a perimeter patrol to look out for stolen socks etc, but now that I'm laid up, I've got to just keep stuff out of her reach. Today, Max didn't like being separated from me in the bedroom, so I let him come and in and didn't ban her from the room as I usually do with the baby gate when I'm not home. I figured she wouldn't steal anything right from under my nose or that I'd see it, but I was wrong and now my little sock is gone.

I hope it smells okay enough that a wash will salvage it. The last 2 things she took away came back so rank, they had to be tossed. She's like Tiger from the Brady Bunch. Imagine what's going to happen once there are little baby socks and clothes lying around.

My first day of bedrest without Mark here was okay. I didn't starve to death, although I got up more than I should to get my food since we didn't get my cooler set up last night. Ideally, I need a little cooler next to the sofa with snacks and goodies to eat so that I don't have to get up and stand and stare into the fridge like it's a television. Bedrest can go one of two ways - gaining a lot of weight from sitting around eating crap or eating really well because most crap needs microwaving or cooking, whereas whole, raw foods are more portable. I'm trying to pick choice #2. More fruit and vegetable party platters and less Doritos and Sprite. Luckily, I hate Doritos and 90% of all chip like snacks. I can't stand powdered cheese and they just seem so unnatural. I like Sun Chips well enough though.

When I returned home from the hospital on Saturday, I started some emergency baby shopping, during which time I procured a car seat, a breast pump, a crib, some onesies and two baby gowns. I feel a lot better now because we were caught so unprepared with all of this - the fact that the baby could come at any time between now and March.

At home confined to strict bedrest

I got out of the klink yesterday, but I'm confined to strict bedrest, translated by Dr. Sofya as no driving, no walking, no chores, nothing. Bathroom and back. 12 weeks! Well, we hope for 12 weeks of boredom, but bedrest is difficult. It's unnatural to sit still that long and you're tempted to do your old stuff.

Poor Mark's birthday yesterday was a total bust. I'd bought half of his present online and thought I'd get the other half from a store so he'd have something in hand on Friday, but Friday after landing in the hospital, that was done for. His comment about us preparing early to subjugate our own desires for our child was apropos. Who knows what my birthday's going to hold. If we can keep Miles in here unti after that, it'd be great. He'd be about 32 weeks and the doctor seems to have that as her touchdown line.

I was reading online and a lot of women who've had preemies and have routine problems carrying to term regard 28 weeks as the first 'down' to celebrate. They are gleeful counting the days to 28 weeks, so we're doing pretty well if we're having problems as 28 weeks as long as these are just the first indicators and not the actual announcements of his coming.

It's just that they barely know what causes that cervix to start shortening up and can't do anything about, it so we're playing a serious game of watch and see and it may not even be a problem that comes to fruition, but NOBODY KNOWS.

I'm feeling pretty calm right now. Some lady next door crashed her car into parked cars on the street last night and she's 6 months pregnant and apparently has a few screws loose, so that puts a lot in perspective. I saw some really bad driving recently that make me happy to NOT be on the road!

Miles is also unpinned from where his legs were stuck so now he's back to kicking the crap out of me again, which I appreciate. He's got to go to the baby gym and get his muscle strength up in case he makes an early appearance.

Now we've got to buy a bunch of baby stuff really quickly, yet I can't set foot in a store! I didn't even get a chance to buy knitting needles and yarn yet before I got confined to bedrest. I'd panned to buy some last weekend and re-learn to knit so that I could knit us a throw or two while I was lying around, but I was thinking normal lying around, not bedrest/house arrest lying around!

I freaked out and stayed up til midnight and got a car seat and crib, but I've got to still get the mattress and some other stuff tomorrow or soon. Thank God for the internet.

Bored awake in the hospital

I spent that night at Providence St. Joseph's for monitoring and now I've been up since about 4:15 and can't get back to sleep. It's too late for Ambien, but too early to be up, even calling my east coast friends!

It wasn't as eventful as it sounded. After the initial 3 minutes of tears in my car, after my OBGYN sent me over here, I was pretty calm and it took hours before we got really looked at and got results and they were all generally good. The only thing that stuck from the OB visit is that my cervix has started to shorten since last week. That lends itself towards preterm labor. So all they can do is make sure the baby is going to thrive once he gets out, so they gave me a steroid shot that matures his lungs and heart quickly and will measure my cervix tomorrow to see if it's a trend or just a one-off thing that will hold still for several weeks if not just a couple.

One theory of why the cervix is shortening is that the fibroid is finally starting to die and as it does, it releases prostaglandine hormones which make the cervix want to shorten. But truth is, it's just a guess. They have NO idea what causes preterm labor and are very helpless to stop it - words of my perinatologist and his colleagues that I've heard repeated. But they are pretty good at helping babies make it through being preemies. If we can keep this bun in the oven until at least 32 weeks, it'd be VERY good.

Basically preterm labor is just a runaway train that you can see coming, but can't do anything to stop. Bed rest is not particularly effective and they truly don't know what causes it. They just see signs toward it, sort of like a Britney Spears meltdown. She's gettting enough sleep, eating well, the paparazzi's been giving her the requisiste attention, has some radio play and boom! Despite all of it, she freaks out. Can't stop it, just be ready to mitigate the damage, huh? So we're all pulling at straws. I've been SO immobile and good about not doing much, knowing that they predicted this to me, that I can't really reduce my activity much more - I've got to breathe. But I wonder if I can eat specific foods to help him fatten up a little quicker. At this point, he's done. He just needs some lung maturation, brain development - that he'll get in or out, and some fat. That's all he's doing for the next 2 months. If they could invent something for that, that'd be the bomb.

It's funny, me and Mark were just about to buy a crib on Thursday and put it off for the weekend and now I'm feeling a little more pressed to get on the ball. In theory, we have 12 weeks. In reality, we have NO clue. We were just buckling down on the baby's room, which now that I look at it, is SO blue that I'm not going to get away with anything sage or tan in it. I think I'll go aqua and more sea-life like. I'm not painting a rental, especially one where things are just only slightly off. The bedroom is a gorgeous buttercreamy mustard, Mark's office is just fine and the baby's room is only slightly overbearing. I think I could get away with just removing the outerspace lightswitches and just conforming to what's there.



I do however, have to get rid of the furniture the owner left behind. A nice cedar chest will be moved to the garage, I think, but the old school dresser's getting given away and there's a little bookshelf that's just going to the curb. I think the rush items are a crib, a changing table - just found the SEXIEST changing table on Babies R Us, where I started another registry after I figured out how much my Target and Amazon registries overlap, that has built in drawers and hamper, so it's not just wasted space underneath, nor is it empty shelves that you then have to buy $60 worth of accessories to actually use. I also want a cosleeper crib that you attach to the side of the bed for the baby to sleep in-room with you for the first few months, since we're anticipating C-section and I can just grab him without getting up.

However, talking to my friend Tina from high school, I wonder if I'll be in the bedroom for the first couple of weeks. Her incision was bad enough that she was sleeping upright in a chair for a week or more before she could get in and out of bed. Apparently, that's the rub. Sleeping - easy. Sitting up - easy. Swinging your legs off the bed to get out of the bed - painful. I've got a fairly high threshold for pain, but if somebody tells me something, I'm not really one of those folks who's got to live through everything personally to believe or learn! Why reinvent the wheel? So if that's true, I might be better off with a bassinet wheeled into the living room, or the likes, where Mark can just bring him to me when he's hungry since I won't be getting up.

Choices, choices, choices. It's finally about time to start making them anyhow. I'd just been given my pre-registration form for the hospital and just left a message yesterday morning with the Babywise Lamaze classes to sign me and Mark up for an intensive one-day crash course for childbirthing. There are only 2 dates left before the baby's supposed to be do.

Not nary a contraction. I'm really happy the baby's fine today - no early birthday presents for Mark. I also hope that he can stay put past my birthday, but one thing is for sure, he's entering the Harris family birthday clump. Mark and his mom are early January, I'm late January and Mark's dad is early February. All Aquarius and Capricorns. Thank God for Aunt Lolo (I gave her that nicknamed already - Mark couldn't say Loretta, I'm assuming neither will his son be able and I'm trying to avoid the 'Ragga' that he called her, so she's Auntie Lolo. Pam rolls off the tongue pretty easy...) Loretta's got a winter b-day and is the only relief among the Harrises. It's basically a spendfest from December to February! Maybe little Miles can hold out til March and give us a breather.

Okay, maybe I'm sleepier. I'm going to try to knock-off again for a couple of hours til they let me out of the klink. I'll update y'all later.

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Okay update came today and has put me on complete bedrest. Meaning: no driving, no chores, no walking, nothing! Ugghhh! My cervix was WAY longer on the 26th of Dec, and now it's down to 1.6cm. Not great. Not horrible, but we want it to stay put and not get any shorter. I don't have an incompetent cervix (IC), so they can't do cerclage, like a turkey thing where they sew you up to keep your cervix shut and the baby in. My cervix actually works fine, so it'd open anyhow when it gets the signal and then do damage pulling apart the stitches. Also, they do that way earlier, I'm too late in the game regardless.

So it's just bedrest and trying to stop the fibroid from deteriorating and releasing the prostaglandins, which they can sort of do with a 72 hour course of Motrin, 1 shot thing, that I can take if I feel the fibroid pain again of it deteriorating, which I did feel over the holidays - that's how I knew it'd started to outgrow it's blood supply. Also I'm on iron twice a day now. Just when I got my benefiber act together, I'm stuck here with cheap iron and colace. My good iron is at home still and even it's pretty gross. I belch iron for the next four hours after I take it.

Every day, evey week that the baby stays in equal percentage rates of how well he'll thrive outside. It's already higher than 90% just because he's as far as 28 weeks, but I think in 3 days, it jumps to 95% etc. I think it's something like they're pretty much guaranteed to survive at this point, but there's an additional 90% chance of having no permanent repercussions later in life, which is cool. My brother wasn't a preemie, but wasn't very healthy - asthma, lazy eye, club foot, exzema etc, and I think my mom never got over it which is why he's a 34 year old preemie still, living at home with her and being taken care of, even with HIS pregnant wife having a child on the way.

Some people get traumatized by their baby's illnesses. I, however, think this little kicker is something else. High spirited and strong. He's really thriving for his age, and is going to be fine - I'm just concerned about breastfeeding because if they are too preemie, you can't breastfeed them in an incubator and you've missed your shot if you have to wait too long. And breastfeeding seems SUPER important in getting all the antibodies and with future health stuff.
Miles is a little winner and I'm going to have my hands full trying to chase him - I've heard if they are active in womb, they are active in life. Wow - then he's going to be a hand-full! I love it.

Also, I want him to come home quickly. I hate seeing babies in incubators the same way that Mark can 't stand to go to the pet store. He seems to equate it with the pound. No matter how many times I try to explain that $1000 puppies, no matter how poorly bred, don't end up homeless of dead, he can't stand the sight of dogs in doggie jail, even if it's at the Beverly Center. Too funny. I used to make him go to Just Puppies petstore to get my baby fix, and he couldn't stand it. I stopped asking after I saw how it truly bugged him, even if I think it's funny. :)

My 13 year old male voice student was born at 23 weeks and had/has some lingering speech mouth muscle issues caused by a long time on the ventilator, but she said she met tons of 28 weekers and that you couldn't tell that they'd ever been preemie at all. So hope still abounds, I just want this kid to stay put as long as possible!

Talked to my sister and dad and pieced together more than my mother ever would tell me when I was little and asked that I was way more preemie than I'd thought. My dad thinks I was about 7 months when my mom had me, Pam thinks it was somewhat earlier, although she remembers me not being in the incubator for that long and he thinks it was a week before I could come home. So that's reassuring, cause there's nothing wrong with me - at least not preemie related! LOL!

It's possible they'll keep me one more day here, but I can't take the food much longer. It's hideous and gross fast food that Mark's bringing me is only a smidge better. So, we shall see. Talk to you later.

PS - Today's Mark's birthday and it sucks so far. I asked if we could recelebrate at a better day and his response way, "no, it's better that we learn early to subjugate ourselves for our child." Too funny - he's right. Get used to it now.